How we treat each other
Community decorum & kindness code
This is the agreement that holds the community together. It isn’t a rulebook to trip you up — it’s a short promise we each make so that everyone who walks in finds a room that’s safe, gentle, and on their side. By taking part, you’re saying yes to this.
“I’ll be gentle, I’ll keep this space safe, and I’ll treat the people here the way I’d want to be met on my hardest day.”
- 1
Lead with gentleness
Assume the person on the other side is having one of their harder days. Speak the way you’d want to be spoken to at 3am. Warmth costs nothing and carries far.
- 2
Hold space before fixing
Most people come here to be heard, not solved. Don’t offer advice unless it’s asked for — “that sounds really heavy, I’m glad you said it” is often the most useful thing you can write.
- 3
No judgement, ever
However someone is coping, however long they’ve struggled, whatever they’re feeling — it’s allowed here. We don’t rank pain or tell anyone they shouldn’t feel what they feel.
- 4
Keep each other safe
Please don’t describe methods of self-harm or suicide, and don’t encourage anyone toward harm. If someone sounds like they’re in immediate danger, gently point them to 988 or 911 — and tell a moderator.
- 5
Protect privacy — yours and theirs
Share only what you’re comfortable sharing. You can post anonymously any time. Never repost or screenshot someone else’s words elsewhere, and don’t pressure anyone to reveal who they are.
- 6
Stay, gently
No spam, no selling, no pile-ons, no cruelty. This isn’t a place to debate or win. If something here upsets you, step back, take a breath, and flag it rather than firing back.
- 7
It’s peer support, not a crisis line
We walk beside each other; we’re not clinicians and we’re not monitored around the clock. For anything urgent, please reach a real service — they’re there for exactly this.
When the code is broken
A small group of moderators keeps an eye on the rooms. When something crosses a line, they can take a post down, and — if someone keeps causing harm — remove that person from the community. We do this quietly and only to keep everyone else safe. If a post is troubling you, you don’t have to handle it alone; flag it and let a moderator step in.
This community is peer support and isn’t monitored around the clock. If you’re in immediate danger or thinking about ending your life, please call or text 988 or call 911 right now. You deserve to still be here.